Merry Christmas 2010

Dearest Friends & Family,

I pray you all have a blessed Christmas filled with the joy of Jesus Christ.  Spend time with your family & friends and cherish every moment.  Christmas is not about Santa or gifts under a tree, but about the love God gave us when He sent His One and Only Son humbled as a baby through a virgin birth 2000+ years ago.  If you are in a poor situation and feel you have nothing or have every dime in the world, you can have the greatest gift ever by asking Jesus in to your heart.  

God bless you all and much love,

Sydni

Seizures

It's been a rough couple of days.  

Friday night we were at my parents' house and I was helping my Mom clean up after dinner.  I was transferring the left over salad into a smaller bowl and that is the last thing I remember.  According to my Mom and hubby I fell backwards and then onto the floor.  Apparently I had 2 grand mal seizures on the hardwood floor.  Fortunately, they knew what to do since my sister Jen has epilepsy.

After they got me out of the kitchen and into the family room I decided to sleep on the floor with a pillow and blanket.  I was already terribly dizzy, so I figured the floor was my best option since I couldn't fall.  I ended up having another grand mal seizure, but thankfully was already on the floor and had my head on a pillow.  I have no idea how long any of the three lasted.  I'm sore... I feel like someone beat me up, but I'm fine.


Yesterday was a day of rest.  I spent the entire day relaxing and mostly sleeping.  I even fell asleep in conversations.  Last night before bed I had a mild seizure, but it was so far from the types of seizures I had on Friday that it almost doesn't count.


Today will be another day of rest.  This evening we are planning to go to the Christmas program at my old church; my Dad is in the show.


You may think I'm crazy, but I truly believe that God is using the Lyme's Disease to His glory.  I don't believe that Christ gave me this disease.  That isn't how He works, but He can work through bad situations and I honestly believe that is what He is doing.  God is helping me to realize that I need to slow down.  Instead of continuing to say "yes" to doing everything, I really need to take care of me first.  So, I believe He is preparing me for 2011 as my year of rest.  What all that consists of is beyond me, but I am trusting in Him.  


Have a wonderful week and remember to keep Jesus in every second of it!


God bless & love,
Sydni

The Process Continues... Jesus Comes Closer

THE BATTLE GROWS EVER HARDER, MY JESUS COMES EVER CLOSER!

The past couple of weeks have grown ever harder to handle as seizures have been added to my list of side effects in my War against the Lyme.  I question and cry and even plead for God to just lift this chronic disease from me.  I know He can, but I also know that He has a reason not to.  Physically, I can't drop to my knees in prayer, but overall Jesus humbles me and brings me with Him to His Father's throne.  He hears my every word and knows my every thought.  He feels my every joy and my every pain.  This comforts me.  I know I'm never alone.

The last few nights I have cried myself to sleep because the pain wracks my body both physically and emotionally.  I'm tired, yet I know I've only just begun the journey.  I have mountains to climb and valleys to crawl, canyons to leap over and oceans to swim.... hard as it sounds, Jesus will go with me and even carry me when I can't take another step.  What a blessing!

So, how do I know Jesus is drawing ever closer?  BECAUSE, I am drawing ever closer to Him!  As I face these difficult days, I find myself in prayer more often.  Not only do I speak to God, but I listen for that still small voice.  Sometimes He answers and sometimes He is silent.  NO, I have never audibly heard His voice, but I feel it upon my heart.  My prayer is to be released from this disease and His answer hasn't been yes or no, but wait.  God also reminds me that I am not waiting alone, but He has given me His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ to wait right there with me.  Sure there are moments where I find myself feeling totally alone and calling out "Jesus where are you," only to hear "I'm here my child."


I guess what I'm really trying to tell all of you is that yes, I am still struggling with the Lyme's Disease.  The process of side effects, antibiotics, and doctor's visits continue, BUT through it all I have the ultimate Healer, the Divine Physician, with me.  Thank You God for You and Your Son, Jesus!


And to all my dear family, friends, and readers.... I continue to thank you all for your love, prayers, encouragement and support.  You are all such a wonderful blessing.


God bless & much love,
Sydni
 

Medical Update from Today

I saw my therapist, physician, and chiropractor today.  Whew, it was a wearing day.  

This past week I have been having seizures and I had one fall.  I was supposed to see my chiropractor first and then my doctor, but I really wanted to see Dr. Knight (physician) first.  I didn't know if being adjusted would effect the outcome of my appointment or not.  

Fortunately, it worked out and I got to see Dr. Knight first (thank you Dr. Purtle for your patience).  The Lymes are decreasing in my blood (PRAISE GOD!)  However, Dr. Knight thinks the seizure activity is related to the Lymes.  See, the Lymes and the antibiotic are fighting a battle within my body.  The longer the battle the more the side effects.  We are just keeping a good watch and taking it one moment at a time.

The first round of antibiotics will be completed on Christmas Day.  On Monday, December 27th I will have more blood drawn to test the Lymes level.  I will be off of any antibiotics for 2 weeks.  I will then go back in to see Dr. Knight to receive the results of the blood test and determine further treatment.


Please continue to pray for Jeff and me as we continue this travel.  Also, please keep us both in your prayers as we are both having some medical procedures done on Thursday.  Thanks!


After seeing Dr. Knight, Dr. Purtle got a hold of me :)  I was really out of whack from having the fall and the seizure and my goodness I sounded like popcorn exploding with all the cracking and things being moved back into alignment.  Dr. Purtle surely received a work out by working on me.  Poor thing :(


Again, I really appreciate your love and support.  I never expected experiencing something like this in my life, but it does have it's blessings.  I am becoming much closer to my family (especially Jeff) and friends, but even more importantly I am drawing ever closer to Jesus.  He truly is the Healer.  I have no doubt that He will heal me in His time and according to His will.  That knowledge and knowing He is with me always, every step of the way, carries me through.  Thank You Jesus!


Love you all dearly,
Sydni

 

Merry December means Merry CHRISTmas

Happy December Everyone!  I hope and pray that your families & friends are looking forward to CHRISTmas day!  What's most important to you....receiving gifts or celebrating in the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ?  Sure I remember as a child running to see what Santa brought, but our main focus was always on God sending our Savior Jesus as a little baby through a virgin birth.  His birth led to our future when at the age of 33 He was selected to die, was tortured and beaten, and hung on a Sinner's Cross (though He was free of sin) and died.  His body was in the tomb for 3 days and then He rose from the dead so we may have eternal life.  With his torture on the cross He took all of our sin, so we may be free to live with Him for all eternity.  We must admit that we are a sinner, believe that Jesus can save us through His precious blood, and confess our sins asking Jesus to come into our hearts.  Believe me that moment will change your life.  Then get a Bible and read it, plus find a Bible believing, Bible teaching church.  God bless you!

This past July, I turned 33 years old; the age of Jesus at the end of His personal earthly ministry.  It's hard for me to believe what Jesus' life must have been like at my age.  What an awesome man!  I am so thankful to have Him in my heart!

Well, a Lyme's Update...  I am struggling.  My vision is blurry and my hearing is off (I need people to speak up, but loud noise is painful).  I've been having what we believe to be mild seizures.  Last night I even fell.  I don't know how it happened and Jeff was in the basement so he missed it.  I've been dizzy and fuzzy feeling and prefer to just sleep.  My doctor is aware of all of this.  I am seeing her on Friday unless I hear something earlier.

Today has been very slow at home.  I am really sore from falling and having a mild seizure  yesterday.  I will admit, I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life that are encouraging, supportive, and loving, but most importantly those that are praying.  You help to keep me focused on the Healing Hands of God and get me through everyday.  I love you all!

~ Sydni

Thankful for my FATHER

Hi Folks!

I pray that you were all blessed with a wonderful Thanksgiving Day.  I hope you remembered to really think through and thank God for all the blessings that have come your way over the past year.  I wonder if you even took the time to thank God for the things you wish wouldn't have been in your life this year.  

For example, my Grandfather died on July 15, 2010...10 days before my birthday.  My Grandpa, D-Daddy, was my living example of Jesus Christ.  He taught me so much and helped to lead me to making a decision to accept Jesus Christ into my heart and become my Abba Father, my Eternal King.  Well, last night before I tried to go to sleep, I lifted up my concerns, prayers, and thanksgivings to Jesus.  Before I knew it I was sobbing.  The human part of me was broken because my D-Daddy was gone.  I didn't get to sit at the table and eat turkey and dressing with him.  But, at the same time I was sobbing and praising my Father because my D-Daddy was having Thanksgiving with Jesus and I know that because I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior through His gift of Salvation (Romans Road to Salvation is list below) I will eat turkey and dressing with not only my D-Daddy, but my Abba Father when He calls me home.

I wanted to update you on my medical status as well.  It appears that the antibiotic is working and is attacking the Lymes within my body.  Praise You Jesus!  Regardless of my thanksgiving to the Lord for the gift of the antibiotics, I am struggling.  My vision has become blurry, especially in the sunlight or in the car.  I have made the decision not to drive for the safety of everyone on the road.  My hearing is not as good as it has been.  I am struggling understanding what people are saying, mistaking words for others, missing words completely, or becoming extremely confused.  Lastly, tonight and last night I have had what appears to be mild seizures in which I fall asleep immediately following.  Jeff has witnessed some or nearly all of these problems.  He is going to call my doctor Monday morning.  From articles I have read, these side effects are listed as side effects of Chronic Lyme's Disease, but we feel much better knowing that my doctor is aware of everything.

I would ask that you please continue to pray for Jeff and me, along with our families and medical staff.  We know we are in the Hands of a Healing God!

Love ~ Sydni

Scared This Morning

Hi Everyone!

I simply want to ask for prayer today.  This late afternoon I have an appointment with my physician to review the results of my blood work from about a week and a half ago.  This will show whether or not the antibiotic I have been taking for about a month is actually working.  We will determine what to do after we know the results.  

This disease really is scary and frustrating.  I am struggling in my adjustment to the side effects from the antibiotic... vomiting, nausea, fatigue, visual & hearing issues, trouble concentrating, balancing issues, sleeping all the time and having the worst possible muscle cramps throughout my entire body.  I'm worn out from eating a meal and almost immediately after I am going back to sleep.

Due to the side effects I can't go and do anything without someone else being right there with me.  I can't drive.  I can't do many things i enjoy...sing in the choir at church, attend Bible Study, work with the youth, play in the bell choir, and go to church.  I struggle at home with all daily tasks,such us; Dressing, attempting to clean, cook even something simple for lunch.

"Under Our Skin" - Extended Trailer

Lastest Updates

I apologize for not keeping you updated a bit better.  I haven't been feeling very well and have been sleeping most of the time.  

On Friday I had some blood drawn to determine whether or not the antibiotic I am presently taking is working.  We will find out next week on Wednesday when I return to see Dr. Knight.

Yesterday I had my first Swedish massage after my chiropractic appointment.  It was amazing.  For 30 minutes I can honestly say I had no symptoms of the Lyme's Disease bothering me.  God bless you, Callie!

In regards to Jeff's grandma Carol, she has returned to her nursing home facility on hospice care.  She is one tough cookie and really fought through some major breathing issues.  Thank you for your continued prayers.

Just wanted to let my youth friends from Grace Pres know that I miss all of you and love you all.  Knowing that you are praying for me blesses my heart and helps me to face this disease every day.  God is awesome!  

Love you all -
Sydni

Waiting

Just wanted to let you all know that I had blood work drawn yesterday.  This test is to determine whether or not the antibiotic I am on is working against the Lymes.  It will be a while before I know anything, but I will keep you posted.  

I am so thankful for all the prayers, encouraging words, precious thoughts, and loving support everyone is sending up and around me.  There are no words to thank you enough.  I love you all!

God bless,

Sydni

PS. I appreciate that some of you have signed up to follow this blog.  That means so much to me! :)

A Thanksgiving!

Thank You Lord!  

Mom & Jen got their Lyme's Disease test results back this morning and they were negative!  I am so thankful.  I certainly wouldn't wish this disease on anyone.  Knowing they don't have it truly lifts my spirits.

Thanks for your continued prayers :)

Prayers to Heaven

Dear Jesus,

I believe in the power of prayer, so I am calling out to you tonight.  Lord as you know Grandma Carol (Jeff's Grandma) is very sick and in the hospital.  Lord Jesus, I thank you for giving us the chance to spend a few hours with her today, even though she slept.  Lord I know that she is battling and trying to fight, but she is tired and has been fighting for some time.  Abba Father, please heal Grandma Carol.  I know that is a hard question to ask, but when it is your will, heal her here on earth or as you walk her Home to Heaven for all Eternity with You.

Jesus, I also lift up our family to You as we face uncertainty.  I pray that you will provide strength, comfort, and peace.  Help us to depend on each other and also place all of our anxieties and fears in Your hands.  Help us to trust in You with everything.

Lord, I ask that You will be with Grandpa Ed (Jeff's Grandpa) as he adjusts to living in the nursing home.  I know he has been asking Grandma Dorthy to take him home, but it is just not in his best interest.  I thank you for giving him a kind roommate that continues to look out for him and reach out to him.

Lord, be with Linda, Uncle Bill, and Dorthy as they help Grandpa adjust.  Use the rest of the family to provide strength, comfort, peace, support, encouragement, and love.

Lastly, Lord, I thank you for my family.  Thank you for giving me Jeff as a wonderful and amazing husband.  He is both my best friend and the love of my life.  Thank you for my parents and sister Jen and for their continual support, help, encouragement, and love.  I couldn't face the pain and fear of this disease without them.  Thank you for my Mema and Granny and for their love and encouragement.  They continue to cheer me on throughout this battle.  But, thank you God for Your Son, who died on the cross to forgive me of my sins so I may some day live forever and always with You in the Home You have gone to prepare for Your children.

Also, thank you for the dear friends and prayer warriors that have been lifting prayers and thoughts to You on behalf of all of us.

In Your Holy Almighty Name,
Amen 

Almost Week 2

Well, it's been about two weeks now that I have been on antibiotics.  Oh, they make me sick.  My doctor told me that the first seven weeks would be rough.  Apparently, week 7 is the worst.  I won't torture you with all the details of my symptoms from my body's attack from the antibiotics, but my doctor said as awful as I feel, this very well could be a good sign that the antibiotics are fighting the lymes throughout my system.  Please continue to pray for Jeff and me.  This is extremely difficult for both of us and is very scary.  Truthfully, I have begged Jeff to have me hospitalized because I just can't handle all of this. I know God is with me and I am trying to take it one day at a time.  


Also, pray for Jeff's Mother's family.  Linda's Dad was admitted into the nursing home on Friday.  Grandpa is not handling it very well, but with his dementia and Parkinson's it is in his best interest.  Grandma stayed in the retirement home with the kitty.  Pray for comfort & strength.

Also, pray for Jeff's Father's family.  Bill's Mom was admitted to the hospital yesterday via the Emergency Department.  She is in very poor health and the doctors have said the next 24 hours are critical.  Pray for peace & comfort & healing.

Thank you & God bless -
Sydni

Break Downs Happen Everywhere

Well folks, break downs happen EVERYWHERE!  I have been having troubles with the way my body is reacting to the antibiotics, but that's nothing compared to sitting across the table from my Mom and talking about Lyme's Disease.  What was really hard was not her reaction, but mine.  I keep wondering if this disease may have resulted in my hysterectomy at 25 years of age.  Mom continues to remind me that it was connected to a cyst rupture at the time I had appendicitis and my appendix was removed.  I was 14 years old then.  I just don't know what to think.  As we talked, I cried.  Rationally, I hear and know what she is saying to be truth, but my HEART still breaks and figuring out how to BLAME anything that has prevented me from having children.  THIS really is only one area of life that I am pondering. So many things have come to mind since I received this diagnosis one week ago.  I'm certain much of my life will come forth here on this blog over the next weeks, months, years, etc.  I just pray that anyone else that reads a single word from this blog understands that yes, I am upset, angry, and have even cursed God... Jesus still loves me and has forgiven me.  I adore my Abba Father and without Him there is NO WAY I would be here.  Believe me, Jesus would have died for any single one of us.  He took everything for us on the cross.  I'm so thankful, but that doesn't mean you won't see me crying.

Love you all - 
Sydni

Whew... side effects

Last night was a nightmare.  The antibiotic I am taking to fight the Lyme's Disease battle can make me queasy.  I was sitting here watching television and all of a sudden I was in the bathroom vomiting like crazy.  Then I was completely exhausted.  This stuff is nuts, and yes I am on medication for the nausea.

This morning I was trying to drive to Bible Study and I had to pull over in a grocery store parking lot and call Jeff to come and get me.  My vision had gone completely blurry.  I couldn't tell one car from another, I had no idea whether I was in the lane on not, and I honestly believe I now know what it feels like to drive extremely drunk.  Fortunately, Jeff had the day off for Election Day and he was able to take care of me.  Thanks to Mom for running back to Peoria with Jeff to get my car.

I ending up sleeping in the recliner all afternoon.  I was just out cold.  

I have to admit the side effects of the medication are awful, but I am willing to keep them in hopes that the antibiotic is positively attacking the bacteria throughout my body.  

I so appreciate all the kind thoughts and prayers of support Jeff and I have been receiving.  We love you all!

Sydni

Halloween Check

Hope you have had fun running from house to house getting candy and goodies, but before diving into those chocolate bars do 2 things....

1.  Check for ticks on your skin and clothes - parents check your little ones and yourselves!  We haven't had a good freeze, so ticks are probably very present.

2.  Parents check through your kiddos candy to make sure it hasn't been tampered with.

3.  Enjoy!

Love y'all - Sydni




 

What is Lyme Disease?

What is Lyme Disease?  Thanks to the help from the following websites hopefully we will get the general idea...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lyme-disease/DS00116  

"Lyme disease is the most common tick-borne illness in North America and Europe. Lyme disease is caused by the bacterium Borrelia burgdorferi. Deer ticks, which feed on the blood of animals and humans, can harbor the bacteria and spread it when feeding.

You're more likely to get Lyme disease if you live or spend time in grassy and heavily wooded areas where ticks carrying the disease thrive. It's important to take common-sense precautions in areas where Lyme disease is prevalent.

If you're treated with appropriate antibiotics in the early stages of the disease, you're likely to recover completely. In later stages, response to treatment may be slower, but the majority of people with Lyme disease recover completely with appropriate treatment."

http://www.aldf.com/lyme.shtml#whatIsLyme 

"LD manifests itself as a multisystem inflammatory disease that affects the skin in its early, localized stage, and spreads to the joints, nervous system and, to a lesser extent, other organ systems in its later,
disseminated stages. If diagnosed and treated early with antibiotics, LD is almost always readily cured. Generally, LD in its later stages can also be treated effectively, but because the rate of disease progression and individual response to treatment varies from one patient to the next, some patients may have symptoms that linger for months or even years following treatment. In rare instances, LD causes permanent damage."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyme_disease 

Chronic neurologic symptoms occur in up to 5% of untreated patients.^[12] A polyneuropathy that involves shooting pains, numbness, and tingling in the hands or feet may develop. A neurologic syndrome called Lyme encephalopathy is associated with subtle cognitive problems, such as difficulties with concentration and short-term memory. These patients may also experience profound fatigue.^[18] However, other problems such as depression and fibromyalgia are no more common in people who have been infected with Lyme than in the general population.^[18][19] Chronic encephalomyelitis, which may be progressive, can involve cognitive impairment, weakness in the legs, awkward gait, facial palsy, bladder problems, vertigo, and back pain. In rare cases untreated Lyme disease may cause frank psychosis, which has been mis-diagnosed as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Panic attack and anxiety can occur, also delusional behavior, including somatoform delusions, sometimes accompanied by a depersonalization or derealization syndrome, where the person begins to feel detached from themselves or from reality

I really hope this gives you an idea and helps you to better understand Lyme Disease.  There are tons of information available online or through your doctors.  I encourage you to research LD for more information.

God bless,

Sydni 

Lord, I'm Hurting

Lord Jesus,  

This is killing me.  I truly am thankful for a diagnosis, but I am so angry that we have no idea how long ago I received this disease from a nasty little bug... aka. the tick. 

Believe me, this is no comic book figure.  

I AM ANGRY BECAUSE...
* this could have caused some or all of the problems which led up to having my hysterectomy 7 & 1/2 years ago
* children, the one thing I wanted in life... the above statement explains that
* psychosis... numerous mental health issues, which have resulted in around 15 -20 admissions because I was certifiably crazy
* fibromyalgia - the pain, the ridicule, the "it's all in your head" bull
* neuropathy - how many falls have resulted from this
* intimacy - my marriage is not complete... I have not only no desire, but pain beyond any explanation (and I adore my husband!)
* confusion, delusions, hallucinations, dissociation..... ugh, Lord you don't want me to go there
* and more


Jesus, I just want to scream and cry more than I have already and even curse at you for letting all of this happen.  In my head, I know you didn't curse me with all of this, but in my heart I question where I went wrong.  What did I do to make You hate me?  Why must I be the example?  When will you just call me Home and truly HEAL me?  CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME??!!!


Oh, I know You hear my every prayer, my every cry, my every desire.  You present them for me before Your Father.  I know the answers don't have to be filled with major detail, but are usually a yes, no, or wait.  


Jesus, I believe You have placed me in the "Wait" so You alone can help me to grow in my devotion and love for You.  I also believe Lord that You are using this situation in my life for Your plan.... whatever that may be (only Jesus knows the plan for you).


My heart is breaking and I am simply trying to just accept that this diagnosis is part of me.  I must rest and really take care of myself daily.... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I know there will be good days and bad days, but Lord I am doing all I can to trust in You.  


'And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.  To him be the dominion forever and ever.  Amen.' ~ 1 Peter 5:10-11

In His Holy Name,
Sydni

The First Full Day

Yesterday changed my life and this time not for the better.  I learned that I have Lyme Disease.  Yes, the disease that comes from the bite of a tick.  It really blows my mind.  I never ever remember having been bit by a tick in all my life.  My parents have said the same thing.  

For those of you who have known me a long time or are just meeting me by coming across this blog site, I have had numerous medical problems throughout my life.  Things including: sleep disorders, psychiatric disorders, fibromyalgia, neuropathy, mono, a total hysterectomy (at the age of 25,  6 months after my husband & I were married), falls, bladder & incontinence issues resulting in two surgeries for an Interstim Device, gastric issues, neurological problems such as tremors and mild seizures, just to name a few.  All of these things could be individual in and of themselves, but all of the symptoms that make up these and other diagnoses are related to Lyme Disease.

My doctor, Rebecca Knight, M.D., told me that most doctors do not test for Lyme Disease unless a tick is present on the body or a known bite has occurred.

After struggles with my health... continual pain, including a hospital stay in August 2010, Dr. Knight decided to test me for the disease along with several other conditions.  I knew Lyme Disease wasn't an option... I didn't have a tick nor a bite mark.

Well, yesterday I returned to Dr. Knight's office after having had blood drawn a week prior.  She walked in the room where my husband Jeff and I waited, and before she could sit down, the words Lyme Disease fell from her mouth.  WHAT?  How on earth could this be possible?  Dr. Knight explained that it is very possible I was bit a long time ago.... like as a child... decades!

Over my life my continuing symptoms were looked over by numerous doctors as a 'problem in my head' (aka. a psychiatric issue).  Finally, Dr. Knight was out for a fight and I couldn't be more thankful for everyone in her office and their determination to look for a diagnosis to explain my symptoms & illness.  And as they arm themselves for treatment, not only through medical research & medications, but also through what I love to call 'knee-time' (aka praying out to our Abba Father, the Great Physician).  I love you all!

Long story short... I am an emotional wreck!  I have cried, screamed & cursed, as my anger, frustration, anxiety & depression has ridden a roller coaster of fear over the past twenty-four hours.  I have been numb and slept most of the time.  Two doses (soon to be 3) of oral antibiotics has been the beginning of our hopeful treatment.  Blood work will be done to see if there is improvement.  This is a long process with several treatment plans, but as this did not come on over night, if I am blessed for a cure, it won't disappear over night either.

I will keep you posted throughout this process no matter how long it takes.  One thing I know for certain... Jesus Christ will HEAL me, whether here on earth or when He calls me home.

God bless & much love,

Sydni