Well folks, break downs happen EVERYWHERE! I have been having troubles with the way my body is reacting to the antibiotics, but that's nothing compared to sitting across the table from my Mom and talking about Lyme's Disease. What was really hard was not her reaction, but mine. I keep wondering if this disease may have resulted in my hysterectomy at 25 years of age. Mom continues to remind me that it was connected to a cyst rupture at the time I had appendicitis and my appendix was removed. I was 14 years old then. I just don't know what to think. As we talked, I cried. Rationally, I hear and know what she is saying to be truth, but my HEART still breaks and figuring out how to BLAME anything that has prevented me from having children. THIS really is only one area of life that I am pondering. So many things have come to mind since I received this diagnosis one week ago. I'm certain much of my life will come forth here on this blog over the next weeks, months, years, etc. I just pray that anyone else that reads a single word from this blog understands that yes, I am upset, angry, and have even cursed God... Jesus still loves me and has forgiven me. I adore my Abba Father and without Him there is NO WAY I would be here. Believe me, Jesus would have died for any single one of us. He took everything for us on the cross. I'm so thankful, but that doesn't mean you won't see me crying.
Love you all -
Sydni
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