THE BATTLE GROWS EVER HARDER, MY JESUS COMES EVER CLOSER!
The past couple of weeks have grown ever harder to handle as seizures have been added to my list of side effects in my War against the Lyme. I question and cry and even plead for God to just lift this chronic disease from me. I know He can, but I also know that He has a reason not to. Physically, I can't drop to my knees in prayer, but overall Jesus humbles me and brings me with Him to His Father's throne. He hears my every word and knows my every thought. He feels my every joy and my every pain. This comforts me. I know I'm never alone.
The last few nights I have cried myself to sleep because the pain wracks my body both physically and emotionally. I'm tired, yet I know I've only just begun the journey. I have mountains to climb and valleys to crawl, canyons to leap over and oceans to swim.... hard as it sounds, Jesus will go with me and even carry me when I can't take another step. What a blessing!
So, how do I know Jesus is drawing ever closer? BECAUSE, I am drawing ever closer to Him! As I face these difficult days, I find myself in prayer more often. Not only do I speak to God, but I listen for that still small voice. Sometimes He answers and sometimes He is silent. NO, I have never audibly heard His voice, but I feel it upon my heart. My prayer is to be released from this disease and His answer hasn't been yes or no, but wait. God also reminds me that I am not waiting alone, but He has given me His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ to wait right there with me. Sure there are moments where I find myself feeling totally alone and calling out "Jesus where are you," only to hear "I'm here my child."
I guess what I'm really trying to tell all of you is that yes, I am still struggling with the Lyme's Disease. The process of side effects, antibiotics, and doctor's visits continue, BUT through it all I have the ultimate Healer, the Divine Physician, with me. Thank You God for You and Your Son, Jesus!
And to all my dear family, friends, and readers.... I continue to thank you all for your love, prayers, encouragement and support. You are all such a wonderful blessing.
God bless & much love,
Sydni
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